Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
