I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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