I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
