"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
