I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So many bounce houses so little time
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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