I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize