im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
3pm strippers are depressing
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize