I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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