hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
