Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
