....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
