seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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