fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize