Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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