That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
