he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
