I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
