I want to stick my p in your. b.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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