the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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