How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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