Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
