Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
