Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
