he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
