That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize