i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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