I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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