No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
