dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I party with great urgency now.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
