thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize