Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize