Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
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