in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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