There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
