I don't think brook has ever known best
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
