My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize