i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
