drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
