oh god the rape fog is back!
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
