I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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