You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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