Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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