I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Randomize
