i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
