Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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