i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
