Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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