I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
