I saw his package. It spoke to me.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
