Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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