You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
