is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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