I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Randomize
