i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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