It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
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