I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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