Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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