is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
