porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
