Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
