How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
