no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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