I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
