when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Your penis caused this!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
