I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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