If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
