I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
